Stress

Sorry for disappearing on you all.  We had a bit of a family crisis starting Easter weekend. 

DS2 had what I can only explain as a psychotic break and after days of trying to get him help via the local police and an emergency room visit we had to ask the state to remove him from our home. I always tell my kids that the number one job of a mom is to keep my kids safe.  It became very apparent that I could not keep DS2, myself, the pets or the other kids safe with DS2 living with us.

It was probably the hardest decision I have ever made. I have parented him for 4.5 years and tried everything I could imagine to get him help.  The entire family is devastated. 

And to quickly change subjects so I will stop crying over the keyboard, we got our tax return last week.  The emergency fund and Savings plans are both fully funded.  Captial One credit card is PAID OFF!!

The rest of the funds went household stuff. I admit we did some emotional spending but I got everything I had wanted plus have a $500.00 account buffer so I am happy.

I will probably be taking a few more days off to heal and then will be back in the blogging groove. 

HAPPY FRIDAY

I ran the numbers and I was $100.00 over budget last month.  While I always strive for better,  I am not to upset as this is month two and I didn't go into debt at all.

I am getting April's budget all cleaned up and hopefully have it posted in the next few days.

I got my grocery list done for the coming week.  I choked a bit when I saw the estimated total, but $50.00 comes out of the Easter budget and $20.00 out of DS1's birthday budget so I am still in the normal range for weekly groceries.

I am really excited about all the cooking I am doing this weekend.  I HATE daily cooking but I love make big special meals.  Easter brunch is Sausage Souffle, French Toast casserole, fruit and rolls. Orange juice to drink for the kids and Mimosa's for the parents.  DS1's birthday is the same day as easter and he requested homemade chicken noodle soup and Ice cream cake.  Both of these meals are recipes I grew up watching my grandmother's and parents make so it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside to be making them for my family.

My weekend is booked! We have an Easter egg hunt at my dad's Saturday morning. My little sister and I are doing an Ikea and Easter basket filling shopping trip together in the afternoon.  Saturday evening DW is taking all the kids to a charity event Roomate is chairing while I get all the Easter preparations done.  First half of Sunday is easter related activities, and then the afternoon is dedicated to DS1's birthday celebration. 

I am really looking forward to some family time.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. 

WRECK

I am a wreck…

I have been fighting a cold since Monday and it wiped the floor with me.  I ended up calling in sick to work Tuesday and slept most of the day.  I would have done the same Wednesday but my schedule was so packed I couldn’t afford too.

I wish I could have filmed myself in the meetings with school officials and DD2’s birth family I meet for the first time.  It must have been hilarious because I was so doped up on Dayquil.  On occasions I would just shut my mouth in mid-sentence cause I realized I had no idea what I was saying.  Good fun.

Some life items that were causing my stress were resolved this week.  DS2 was accepted into a new specialty school so we can avoid inpatient for now.  DD2’s case went in front of a judge and it looks like she will be with us until June.   I also got to me DD2’s birth family and while they probably think I was nuts, I thought they were awesome people. 

On the money front, I know I have done some damage but honestly haven’t had the time or energy to figure out how bad.  I will run the numbers tonight as we start our April budget tomorrow. 

I did get to see my paystub for tomorrow’s paycheck and it looks like the changing of my withholding and the small pay raise I received went into effect.  I can’t wait to see what that would look like with a full 80 hour paycheck…one day.



Heartbroken

I wasn’t surprised when I went to DD1’s house and she admitted she didn’t have the items she had stolen I am incredibly heartbroken as we have now lost years of family photos and videos. There were pictures of foster kids I will most likely never see again and I have no way of replacing them.

I became incredibly angry when I lined up dates in my head.  DD1 had gotten her nails done, purchased a used coach bag, had her hair dyed, and moved her stuff into storage with the money she received for selling our stuff.  She showed off all her new stuff to us without any shame.  She had us help move her items into storage and DW watched her pay with cash that was OURS!

Instead of pressing charges we told DD1 she has to pay us back. She was not allowed in our home or to call us asking any favors until it was all paid off.  While the retail value was $1100 we told her she had to pay off only $500.00 as we would deduct the amount we had planned to use on buying her Roommate’s car.  I know it was rubbing salt into a wound bringing up the car as she is in desperate need of one, but I had to release the anger somehow and being vindictive helped.   

On The Money Front:

We got a hit on our Craigslist add to sell our elliptical machine.  The lady wants to come try it out so that means I have to actually clean my master bedroom, UGH.   We have it listed for $800.00 but I would be thrilled with $500.00.  Money will go to pay off some medical bills and get some money into our E-Fund.

Super excited about going to Ikea in a few weeks.  I know going to Ikea seems counterproductive to saving money but hear me out.  I get $600.00 from work to purchase office furniture.  Whatever I don’t spend is mine.  I found exactly what I needed at Ikea for a steal at $250.00.  I also plan to purchase items I need for the kids Easter basket which should help get me under budget for Easter.   Extra money will help cover income loss for Lice fiasco and pay some smaller debts.

Our Spring break childcare fell through for DS1 and we are freaking out.  While we allow him to be home alone for a few hours at a time, an entire week for 7 hours a day is too much. With all the drama with DD1 I wouldn’t put it past her to convince him to let her in house and I don’t need that stress.

 Alternative daycare options are EXPENSIVE!! We just don’t have an extra $200.00 in the budget.  Luckily, DW’s boss saved the day and said DW could work from home part of the week and  DS1 can come to work on the other days and hang out with DWs bosses’ son who is around the same age.  Crisis averted 



Wish I hadn't woken up.

Woke up at my normal time this morning when I get a text from my boss that systems were down and not to come in until noon.  Unfortunately, I couldn’t stay late due to DS2 so I am down another 5 hours of pay that wasn’t budgeted for.  UPDATED: Just got a message for co-worker that they are going to pay us for missed time. YAY!

DW and I both decreased our tax withholding on our paychecks.  While it is always nice to get a large check come refund time, we could really use the extra cash now.  I am not sure what that is going to look like on our paychecks, but even a little boost will help. 

Dave Ramsey has this new site called www.everydollar.com.  It is an online budget site similar to Mint. There is a free and pay option.  I prefer the free as it doesn’t pull transactions from your bank account.  I spent a little time over the past few days updating information.  I was able to get all of our income and bills entered but am having problems with updating our debt information.   I will play around with it this weekend to see if it meets my needs and will let you know.

Found out some disturbing news last night.   Roommate was borrowing our computer and went to log into her email.  DD1 had forgotten to log out of her email and Roommate noticed a ton of Craigslist posting. Roommate wouldn’t put it past DD1 to sell our belongings (I am always in denial about how devious DD1 can be) and called DW over the review the postings.

DD1 had stolen our $600.00 HD camcorder, DW’s $300.00 pocket watch and a $100.00 back-up drive which had a ton of personal info.   She had $1,000.00 worth of our stuff and was trying to sell it on Craigslist for $225.00. I was sick to my stomach.

We called the place where DD1 is staying and had them wake her up so we could talk.  DD1 says she had all our items still and I told her I would pick them up from her after work.  DW was livid and told her she better be home to hand over our stuff when I came after work to pick them up. When DD1 asked what would happen if she wasn’t, DW responded that she would call the cops and file theft charges.  It was not a pretty conversation.

So I am sitting at home right now, waiting for DS2 to get off the bus to go get the items from DD1.  I am not looking forward to it.  No amount of training or reading about hurt children can prepare you for these situations.  All I know is that buying DD1 that car is out the window.  It was a hard sell to DW initially and as of right now DW doesn’t want her on our property let alone purchasing her a vehicle. 

Hope you Thursday is going a bit better than mine.



Unproductive Wednesday

Was a little panicked this morning when I noticed I still haven’t received payment for side job.  I have been with this company since 2011 and it has never been later than the 23^rd. 

I have this mild phobia of calling people on the phone (weird, right?), so I gave DW my info and she called the companies finance department for me.  They had a system upgrade so all payroll was delayed by a few days. I should get the deposit tomorrow morning.  PHEW!

I am having a rough day.  I got into work 1.5 hours later than I wanted and since I had to be home for DS2’s bus I was short the hours.  I also could not get focused and was completely unproductive at work which is a rarity for me. I like to keep super busy as it makes the hours go by faster.   I guess we all deserve an off day.

DD1 got a job yesterday.  While I am thrilled for her, I was not excited when she told me at 9pm that she her birth certificate or social security card and her food handlers permit.   I was out $10.00 for the food handler’s permit but I made her make several copies so I could keep them on file.  DW and I clearly remember giving the birth certificate to her several months ago so she could get a copy of her social security card.  Apparently not only did she not get her social security card, but she lost her birth certificate as well.  

We dug through all the unfiled paperwork (think 3 laundry baskets full) to see if maybe the birth certificate had migrated home, but no luck.  DD1 was in a panic because they wouldn’t hire her without the proper documentation.  I sent her home around 10:30pm and told her I would do some more digging.  I was able to find copies of her social security card and birth certificate with her birth name.  I found a certified copy of her adoption decree that shows the name change from her birth name to adopted name.  I am hoping these pieces of documentation will be sufficient. 

Now DD1 is in another bind as she has no transportation for work.  She had been given a unlimited bus pass via a program at school. She told me she lent it to a roommate so she could get to school.  I told DD1 last night she better ask for it back as she needs it now.  I know my daughter was lying about what had happened to the card but there is no use calling her out on it.  Low and behold she texts me this morning stating that she had lied about who had the card.  Her boyfriend (possible ex, can never keep up on their status) has the card and she hasn’t been able to get ahold of him for weeks.  She apologized for lying as she is use to lying about things when it comes to this boyfriend.  For good reason too, DW won’t even allow his name to be said in our house, we refer to him as “he who shall not be named.” (HWSNBN)

I want to help my daughter out with bus money but I hate helping her solve problems that are caused by “HWSNBN”.  He has caused so many problems since he came into our lives in 2012.  Think restraining orders, DD1 running away for months at a time, jail time for him, juvenile detention for DD1, kids witnessing arrests,  property damage, pregnancy scares, rape allegations, sneaking out, theft, and At Risk Youth Petitions.  It was an awful time.  We moved to another city to get away from him!!! One of the main reasons DD1 could not live with us after she turned 18 is that she started dating him again and bringing him into our house when we weren’t around.  So I am torn about what to do. I think I will give her a ride to orientation today but she will have to figure out how to get to and from work until payday. 

Am I mean mother?

So I better start being productive since I was unproductive the first part of the day. I need to get kitchen picked up, laundry moving, make two loaves of bread and maybe even pick up the master bedroom. 



GOOD, BAD, UGLY, FUNNY take 3

Haven't done this in a while so I thought an episode of "Good, Bad, Ugly, Funny" was due.

GOOD:
-  My telecommuting application was approved much quicker than I had anticipated.  Equipment should be delivered to my home by April 1st.  YAY!!!
- For the first time in years, all of our utilities are paid in full.  I was always paying just enough to avoid getting shut off but never getting a zero balance. It feels great!
- I am way below budget on DS1 & DS2's birthday presents.  I still need to buy wrapping paper and cards but should be $75.00 under budget.   I am hoping to be able to pay for the ingredients for cake and birthday dinners from our grocery budget.
- Roommate purchased a new car, but is having the old car fixed up so we can buy it in May for DD1.  It has been so hard to keep this secret from her but I SOO want it to be a surprise.
- Little Sister came over Thursday night to hang out and we made Slutty Brownies.  SO YUMMY!  I love hanging out with little sister.

BAD:
- My car insurance went up $10.00 a month and I am not sure why. Nothing has changed. I am going to have DW call our insurance agent to investigate why.
 - DW's car is making awful noises.  I know we need to have this looked at ASAP, I am just not sure were to get the funds.
- The 2 year anniversary of my mother's death is coming up. It also happens to be the same day as DS2's birthday so I will have a distraction.

UGLY:
-  The State denied our request for a subsidy increase for DS2.  I requested an appeal and they send me a one page questionnaire.  I have turned it into a 4.5 page rebuttal. I was proud of myself, my letter is professional while direct without getting nasty.  You have no idea how bad I wanted to get nasty.
- We were $250.00 over budget for the first pay period.  The overages get absorbed into the second pay period so we are in the black now, but I don't think we have enough funds to last us two weeks.
- My best friend at work got fired on Friday. I will miss her.

FUNNY:
- DS1's birthday lands on Easter this year.  He thought this meant we wouldn't be celebrating his birthday. We haven't really confirmed whether this is true or not... we can be so mean.
- While driving in the car, DS1 told me that one of his older friends is so weird because "He smokes weeds. Why would you want to smoke weeds?"   I have this fear that I will come home one day to DS1 in the backyard trying to light up a dandelion. (Yes, we did have a 'say no to drugs' talk shortly after this)