Vet

This always seems to happen to me. Right when I feel like I am getting on track I get a surprise. 

I had to take our big dog to the vet.  We were unable to get ride of a ear infection with the cleaning solutions and dietary changes that had worked in the past.  I had budgeted $150.00 dollars which should have covered the cost of a office visit and proper medication.  My final bill was $494.81. OUCH!!!

I had explained to the vet about Big Dog's chronic ear infections and how they were incredibly difficult to get ride of.  Our previous vet had tried so many different medications and it would take months to clear up.  The vet said we should have a special culture done to figure out exactly what bacteria and yeasts we are dealing with which would help better prescribe a medication. 

Then I realized that she was due for her kennel cough vaccination and her Bordatella (SPL?) and rabies were up in July so I decided to add those.

Then I had the doctor take a look at three lumps on her side. One lump she has had for along time and the previous vet told us it was a fatty deposit.  In recent months it has grown substantially plus 2 more had popped up and I was getting concerned. He recommended a biopsy

Also, our poor girl has extreme arthritis in her back legs and major allergy issues which both need special medications.

I have three prescriptions in my purse. Two for the ear infection and one for the arthritis.  He hinted that one of the prescriptions was very expensive so he only had them give e a 5 day supply so we could see if it was effective.  God knows how much those are going to cost me.

While the bill was enough to make my stomach churn the worst part is the our baby is getting old.  Her breed, like most large breeds, have a life expectancy of 6-8 years so that means our 4 year old baby is in middle age. 

We will find out early next week if the lumps are benign or are malignant melanoma.  I have no idea what our next steps will be if the latter is true. 

On a happier note,  DW and I had dinner with DD1 tonight.  I felt DD1 did an amazing job on verbalizing her apology and feelings to DW. DW was also very respectful and it was a wonderful evening.....until......we had to flee Baskin Robbins.

The restaurant we went to didn't have our favorite dessert (curse them) so we decided to get dessert elsewhere.  I had to order a birthday cake for DD2 so we decided to go to Baskin Robbins to order the cake and get some ice cream for dessert. 

It was late so it was just us, the employee and a man with his early tweenish daughter.  We were sitting at a table towards the entrance.  DD1 and I were talking about how she should get back on birth control but were keeping our voices low as to be respectful of the other people in the store.  Do you know that rare moment in a public place where everything gets quiet for a moment.  Where every person, piece of machinery and everyday ambient sounds just go quiet for a few seconds.  Well we had one of those and DW chose this moment to say in a very loud voice "Just have Anal Sex." 

Please understand, DW is not usually this crude or vulgar, especially around our daughter..  Put I think with the stress of Big Dog's possible cancer and the anxiety of dinner with DD1 her sanity temporarily broke. 

DD1 and I looked at DW in absolute horror. I looked up and father or the younger girl had physically stiffened.  Before he had a chance to turn round and look at us, DD1 and I simultaneously picked up our purses and walked out the door, leaving DW to chase after us.  SO EMBARRASSING.

Late Mother's Day

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

I know I am a little late.  Life is moving way to fast.

My Mother's Day weekend was good.  I had a 7 hour training for my foster care license that took up most of Saturday. Once the kids were in bed Saturday evening I went to my little sister's house for a birthday party for a mutual friend.  I had only planned to stay an hour or so but got dragged into a few shots early on so I had ended up staying for almost 4 hours so I was okay to drive. It was so much fun just to hang out and be silly for a few hours. 

Sunday, DW and the kids surprised me with Chai Latte and doughnuts (my two favortite things) for breakfast.   They also got me a gift card for a game I play on my phone (Game of War rocks!!) and a nice set of wireless headphones.   That afternoon I went out with DD1 for coffee and to chat.  We have only spoken once since the theft incident and it was nice.  She bought me some fun socks, a hair straightner (to replace the one she stole) and a beautiful drawing she made of the entire family.  We talked for several hours and their were tears and laughter.  She seemed very remorseful and said she wanted her family back.  I SOOO want to believe her but this cycle has happened so many times.  She is a master manipulator and will do and say anything to get what she wants.  This time, all she seemed to be asking was to spend time with us which makes me hopeful that she is being honest.  I agreed to set up a dinner so that DD1 can relay what she said to me to DW.  DW and DD1 do not communicate well at all.  DW sees the world very black and white which is hard view to have when working with kids with so much trauma and mental health issues.  I am hoping with me being there as translator they can begin to understand each other.  

Overall a pretty awesome Mother's Day.  

I am off to the bank and to take DD2 to therapy.  When I get home I need to make DS3's room more presentable just in case we get a new foster child this weekend.  

Have a great Thursday!!! 

Life is Full of Changes

One of my biggest life fears is becoming stagnant.  I need change and new opportunities to keep me going or I get anxious. Well I definitely picked the right life.  The last thing my life will EVER be is borrowing.

I am a little stressed about finances in June.   Since I quit SJ1 (sidejob 1), I knew things were going to be tighter but I was able to make the budget work.  Then I get a call from SJ2 stating that because of contract renewals they won't have any work for me for a couple weeks.  I normally wouldn't be that worried as it is only a couple hundred dollars but then I remembered that SJ3 doesn't pay ANY invoices in June (some fiscal budget thing) so I won't see any of that money until July. I had already budgeted for the SJ1 & SJ3 financial hit but that took me to the edge of our financial resources.  I am going to have to pull the lost income from SJ2 out of savings :-(. 

Speaking of side jobs, I think I found another.  I know I JUST quite SJ1 to relieve stress but this new side job is small and commission based.  I get to work with my little sister and she will be doing most of the work.  I am not sure if I will make much money as I am not much of a sales woman but any new source of revenue I can get, I will take. 

Spoke with MIL on Mother's Day and it looks like she is seriously thinking about letting us take over her house. I have blogged about it previously but then it was just hypothetical but the way MIL was talking it may become more of a reality.  DW and I have decided to start savings for home repairs that would have to happen before we moved in and if MIL still hasn't made a decision this time next year will we use that money to move elsewhere as I really don't like our current house.

On a final note.  We maybe getting another foster child or two.  I received a call about a sibling group (boy and girl).  I told them until DS2 moved-in with her father we only had room for the boy (6) and the girl (4) could move in mid-July.  I received a call from the social worker asking questions and wondering if we could make it so we could take the girl first, which we can make work.  They have to staff the decision and I should hear from them on Friday.  It is still up in the air as they REALLY want to place the kids together initially but the social worker has heard raving reviews about us from others within the department and would prefer working with us.  Apparently I have made a name for myself within the department other than raving b!tch!!  I get mama bear protective of the kids in my care and can get mean if I need to so that my kids get what they deserve.

Have a great Wednesday!!!!

Fun Times

It's been a fun day working from home.  Due to another lice outbreak both boys had to stay home from school & daycare and DD3 has been home sick for the 5th day in a row.  DW stayed home as well as she has sprained her ankle once again so it hasn't been a very productive day. 

All I can say is TGIF. 

I have a dentist appointment in a few and I am hoping I won't need to get any work done.  I haven't been as good with flossing as I should be and that always comes to bite me in the butt.

Financially things are on track.  Paid rent yesterday and have to deposit Roommate's rent to cover the check I will write for daycare on Monday. 

I have been trying to put a little money aside for NG as she will be spending the entire summer with us.  We asked NG's mom if she would provide a little cash so we could get NG involved in some activities during the summer.  All the other kids will be at daycare or summer camp and we didn't want NG trapped in the house alone for 3 months.  NG's mom says she can't afford to send any money which I am equally sympathetic (single mom of 2) and frustrated (has money for alcohol and we practically raise her daughter for her).  NG's mom DID give us $10.00 last week so I put that in a secret hiding place along with $40.00 of our own.  I will keep adding whatever we can get out of her mom and whatever we can spare so NG has funds to go to the local swimming pool, movies with friends, and whatever local cheap activities I can find.

Well I better go, DD2 doesn't want to be out done by her lice infest brothers or sick sister and is currently making god awful whining noises from her room because I told her the Ipad she wanted to play is being charged for someone else. I am really beginning to miss the office.  

Credit Cards and There Many Uses

I am doing an experiment which will probably make many of you cringe.  I am using the credit card to pay daily expenses with the plan to pay off at the end of the month.

With the loss of income I usual expect at the beginning of the month, are income is loaded on the backend.  The majority of our discretionary money doesn't become available until the second part of the month.  Instead of pulling the money from savings to put back come May 20th, I decided to put all those expenses on a credit card and pay it off at the end of the month.

I admit this plan has failed in the past but I thought to give it one final try.  If I find I spent way to much on card then I have budgeted to pay, I will use monies I had planned to put into savings and call this experiment a failure.  Thoughts?

MAY

Here is my May budget.



With the loss of DS2's subsidy and the decision for me to quit one of my side job, we have lost a bit of income.  DS2's subsidy is a wash as I can now work 40 hours a week and we are down the cost of raising one child.   The side-job income will hit us the hardest as it will severly limit how quickly we can pay of debt but I was slowly losing my sanity and I really need to focus on my family.

We have a small payment due to Capital One due to interest that hadn't posted when I paid it off.  It is a 3 paycheck month so I was able to put another big chunk in savings as well as almost double my car payment.  DW checked the balance on our car when she made the last payment and we are just shy of being under $4,000.  If I keep on track with out budget, we could have the car paid off by December!!!!

I have increased our food and other budget categories to be more realistic for our needs. I will probably adjust the food budget down a bit with DS2 being gone and Roommate being on vacation for 2 weeks. They are the two biggest eaters in the house so our grocery should go down.

I am trying to get ahold of my emotionally spending.  DS2 spend a few days with us and after a explosive episode where punched the social worker in the stomach and eye we decided to call the cops for a 2nd time in two days.  He is now at the hospital waiting for an opening at Children's for a psychological evaluation.  I went to visit him last night and he was in pretty bad shape.  I wanted to get some retail therapy so badly but was able to resist the urge.  I WILL STAY ON TRACK!! 

I'm Alive

I AM BACK!!!

What a mess April has been.  As I posted earlier DS2 was removed from our home due to really unsafe behavior.  Then I took a few weeks break to really focus on family as the whole situation was really a trauma. 

As of Wednesday DS2 is back temporarily.  They found a residential inpatient that would take him on Monday but after blowing out of 9 other foster homes in a few weeks they begged us to take him until then.  For the safety of our family we told them it was only possible if they had a professional here in the evenings and weekends to help when he blows out.  So I have had a series of random social workers chilling at my house. It is weird but totally motivates me to keep the house clean. J

On to financial news.....

I can’t even begin to explain how it feels to have a fully funded emergency fund.  It is such a relief.  We also funded our ‘savings’ which is money set aside for birthdays, holidays, and family events.  It was really nice to be able to order DD2’s birthday presents and know I already had the money set aside.

Other than the large deposit I made when I got our tax return, yesterday was the first time I transferred money into savings for our regular budget.  It was scary and empowering to transfer over the $300.00 into savings.  I felt like a grown-up. 

I have to admit we did a lot of extra spending this month.  While we didn’t go into any debt we blew through the account buffer I had put into place.  It was emotional spending.  Those evens when you just say “F*&^ it” and order Pizza for dinner and a Swiffer wet jet off of Amazon because you feel like you deserve it. 

I told DW now that May was here we need to tighten the belt again and stay on track.  I don’t want a repeat of previous years where I put money in savings and then we blew through it by August. 

I hope to be able to post our May budget for you to see today.  With a wedding this morning I am behind at work so we will see.

Have a great weekend everyone!!



Stress

Sorry for disappearing on you all.  We had a bit of a family crisis starting Easter weekend. 

DS2 had what I can only explain as a psychotic break and after days of trying to get him help via the local police and an emergency room visit we had to ask the state to remove him from our home. I always tell my kids that the number one job of a mom is to keep my kids safe.  It became very apparent that I could not keep DS2, myself, the pets or the other kids safe with DS2 living with us.

It was probably the hardest decision I have ever made. I have parented him for 4.5 years and tried everything I could imagine to get him help.  The entire family is devastated. 

And to quickly change subjects so I will stop crying over the keyboard, we got our tax return last week.  The emergency fund and Savings plans are both fully funded.  Captial One credit card is PAID OFF!!

The rest of the funds went household stuff. I admit we did some emotional spending but I got everything I had wanted plus have a $500.00 account buffer so I am happy.

I will probably be taking a few more days off to heal and then will be back in the blogging groove. 

HAPPY FRIDAY

I ran the numbers and I was $100.00 over budget last month.  While I always strive for better,  I am not to upset as this is month two and I didn't go into debt at all.

I am getting April's budget all cleaned up and hopefully have it posted in the next few days.

I got my grocery list done for the coming week.  I choked a bit when I saw the estimated total, but $50.00 comes out of the Easter budget and $20.00 out of DS1's birthday budget so I am still in the normal range for weekly groceries.

I am really excited about all the cooking I am doing this weekend.  I HATE daily cooking but I love make big special meals.  Easter brunch is Sausage Souffle, French Toast casserole, fruit and rolls. Orange juice to drink for the kids and Mimosa's for the parents.  DS1's birthday is the same day as easter and he requested homemade chicken noodle soup and Ice cream cake.  Both of these meals are recipes I grew up watching my grandmother's and parents make so it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside to be making them for my family.

My weekend is booked! We have an Easter egg hunt at my dad's Saturday morning. My little sister and I are doing an Ikea and Easter basket filling shopping trip together in the afternoon.  Saturday evening DW is taking all the kids to a charity event Roomate is chairing while I get all the Easter preparations done.  First half of Sunday is easter related activities, and then the afternoon is dedicated to DS1's birthday celebration. 

I am really looking forward to some family time.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. 

WRECK

I am a wreck…

I have been fighting a cold since Monday and it wiped the floor with me.  I ended up calling in sick to work Tuesday and slept most of the day.  I would have done the same Wednesday but my schedule was so packed I couldn’t afford too.

I wish I could have filmed myself in the meetings with school officials and DD2’s birth family I meet for the first time.  It must have been hilarious because I was so doped up on Dayquil.  On occasions I would just shut my mouth in mid-sentence cause I realized I had no idea what I was saying.  Good fun.

Some life items that were causing my stress were resolved this week.  DS2 was accepted into a new specialty school so we can avoid inpatient for now.  DD2’s case went in front of a judge and it looks like she will be with us until June.   I also got to me DD2’s birth family and while they probably think I was nuts, I thought they were awesome people. 

On the money front, I know I have done some damage but honestly haven’t had the time or energy to figure out how bad.  I will run the numbers tonight as we start our April budget tomorrow. 

I did get to see my paystub for tomorrow’s paycheck and it looks like the changing of my withholding and the small pay raise I received went into effect.  I can’t wait to see what that would look like with a full 80 hour paycheck…one day.



Heartbroken

I wasn’t surprised when I went to DD1’s house and she admitted she didn’t have the items she had stolen I am incredibly heartbroken as we have now lost years of family photos and videos. There were pictures of foster kids I will most likely never see again and I have no way of replacing them.

I became incredibly angry when I lined up dates in my head.  DD1 had gotten her nails done, purchased a used coach bag, had her hair dyed, and moved her stuff into storage with the money she received for selling our stuff.  She showed off all her new stuff to us without any shame.  She had us help move her items into storage and DW watched her pay with cash that was OURS!

Instead of pressing charges we told DD1 she has to pay us back. She was not allowed in our home or to call us asking any favors until it was all paid off.  While the retail value was $1100 we told her she had to pay off only $500.00 as we would deduct the amount we had planned to use on buying her Roommate’s car.  I know it was rubbing salt into a wound bringing up the car as she is in desperate need of one, but I had to release the anger somehow and being vindictive helped.   

On The Money Front:

We got a hit on our Craigslist add to sell our elliptical machine.  The lady wants to come try it out so that means I have to actually clean my master bedroom, UGH.   We have it listed for $800.00 but I would be thrilled with $500.00.  Money will go to pay off some medical bills and get some money into our E-Fund.

Super excited about going to Ikea in a few weeks.  I know going to Ikea seems counterproductive to saving money but hear me out.  I get $600.00 from work to purchase office furniture.  Whatever I don’t spend is mine.  I found exactly what I needed at Ikea for a steal at $250.00.  I also plan to purchase items I need for the kids Easter basket which should help get me under budget for Easter.   Extra money will help cover income loss for Lice fiasco and pay some smaller debts.

Our Spring break childcare fell through for DS1 and we are freaking out.  While we allow him to be home alone for a few hours at a time, an entire week for 7 hours a day is too much. With all the drama with DD1 I wouldn’t put it past her to convince him to let her in house and I don’t need that stress.

 Alternative daycare options are EXPENSIVE!! We just don’t have an extra $200.00 in the budget.  Luckily, DW’s boss saved the day and said DW could work from home part of the week and  DS1 can come to work on the other days and hang out with DWs bosses’ son who is around the same age.  Crisis averted 



Wish I hadn't woken up.

Woke up at my normal time this morning when I get a text from my boss that systems were down and not to come in until noon.  Unfortunately, I couldn’t stay late due to DS2 so I am down another 5 hours of pay that wasn’t budgeted for.  UPDATED: Just got a message for co-worker that they are going to pay us for missed time. YAY!

DW and I both decreased our tax withholding on our paychecks.  While it is always nice to get a large check come refund time, we could really use the extra cash now.  I am not sure what that is going to look like on our paychecks, but even a little boost will help. 

Dave Ramsey has this new site called www.everydollar.com.  It is an online budget site similar to Mint. There is a free and pay option.  I prefer the free as it doesn’t pull transactions from your bank account.  I spent a little time over the past few days updating information.  I was able to get all of our income and bills entered but am having problems with updating our debt information.   I will play around with it this weekend to see if it meets my needs and will let you know.

Found out some disturbing news last night.   Roommate was borrowing our computer and went to log into her email.  DD1 had forgotten to log out of her email and Roommate noticed a ton of Craigslist posting. Roommate wouldn’t put it past DD1 to sell our belongings (I am always in denial about how devious DD1 can be) and called DW over the review the postings.

DD1 had stolen our $600.00 HD camcorder, DW’s $300.00 pocket watch and a $100.00 back-up drive which had a ton of personal info.   She had $1,000.00 worth of our stuff and was trying to sell it on Craigslist for $225.00. I was sick to my stomach.

We called the place where DD1 is staying and had them wake her up so we could talk.  DD1 says she had all our items still and I told her I would pick them up from her after work.  DW was livid and told her she better be home to hand over our stuff when I came after work to pick them up. When DD1 asked what would happen if she wasn’t, DW responded that she would call the cops and file theft charges.  It was not a pretty conversation.

So I am sitting at home right now, waiting for DS2 to get off the bus to go get the items from DD1.  I am not looking forward to it.  No amount of training or reading about hurt children can prepare you for these situations.  All I know is that buying DD1 that car is out the window.  It was a hard sell to DW initially and as of right now DW doesn’t want her on our property let alone purchasing her a vehicle. 

Hope you Thursday is going a bit better than mine.



Unproductive Wednesday

Was a little panicked this morning when I noticed I still haven’t received payment for side job.  I have been with this company since 2011 and it has never been later than the 23^rd. 

I have this mild phobia of calling people on the phone (weird, right?), so I gave DW my info and she called the companies finance department for me.  They had a system upgrade so all payroll was delayed by a few days. I should get the deposit tomorrow morning.  PHEW!

I am having a rough day.  I got into work 1.5 hours later than I wanted and since I had to be home for DS2’s bus I was short the hours.  I also could not get focused and was completely unproductive at work which is a rarity for me. I like to keep super busy as it makes the hours go by faster.   I guess we all deserve an off day.

DD1 got a job yesterday.  While I am thrilled for her, I was not excited when she told me at 9pm that she her birth certificate or social security card and her food handlers permit.   I was out $10.00 for the food handler’s permit but I made her make several copies so I could keep them on file.  DW and I clearly remember giving the birth certificate to her several months ago so she could get a copy of her social security card.  Apparently not only did she not get her social security card, but she lost her birth certificate as well.  

We dug through all the unfiled paperwork (think 3 laundry baskets full) to see if maybe the birth certificate had migrated home, but no luck.  DD1 was in a panic because they wouldn’t hire her without the proper documentation.  I sent her home around 10:30pm and told her I would do some more digging.  I was able to find copies of her social security card and birth certificate with her birth name.  I found a certified copy of her adoption decree that shows the name change from her birth name to adopted name.  I am hoping these pieces of documentation will be sufficient. 

Now DD1 is in another bind as she has no transportation for work.  She had been given a unlimited bus pass via a program at school. She told me she lent it to a roommate so she could get to school.  I told DD1 last night she better ask for it back as she needs it now.  I know my daughter was lying about what had happened to the card but there is no use calling her out on it.  Low and behold she texts me this morning stating that she had lied about who had the card.  Her boyfriend (possible ex, can never keep up on their status) has the card and she hasn’t been able to get ahold of him for weeks.  She apologized for lying as she is use to lying about things when it comes to this boyfriend.  For good reason too, DW won’t even allow his name to be said in our house, we refer to him as “he who shall not be named.” (HWSNBN)

I want to help my daughter out with bus money but I hate helping her solve problems that are caused by “HWSNBN”.  He has caused so many problems since he came into our lives in 2012.  Think restraining orders, DD1 running away for months at a time, jail time for him, juvenile detention for DD1, kids witnessing arrests,  property damage, pregnancy scares, rape allegations, sneaking out, theft, and At Risk Youth Petitions.  It was an awful time.  We moved to another city to get away from him!!! One of the main reasons DD1 could not live with us after she turned 18 is that she started dating him again and bringing him into our house when we weren’t around.  So I am torn about what to do. I think I will give her a ride to orientation today but she will have to figure out how to get to and from work until payday. 

Am I mean mother?

So I better start being productive since I was unproductive the first part of the day. I need to get kitchen picked up, laundry moving, make two loaves of bread and maybe even pick up the master bedroom. 



GOOD, BAD, UGLY, FUNNY take 3

Haven't done this in a while so I thought an episode of "Good, Bad, Ugly, Funny" was due.

GOOD:
-  My telecommuting application was approved much quicker than I had anticipated.  Equipment should be delivered to my home by April 1st.  YAY!!!
- For the first time in years, all of our utilities are paid in full.  I was always paying just enough to avoid getting shut off but never getting a zero balance. It feels great!
- I am way below budget on DS1 & DS2's birthday presents.  I still need to buy wrapping paper and cards but should be $75.00 under budget.   I am hoping to be able to pay for the ingredients for cake and birthday dinners from our grocery budget.
- Roommate purchased a new car, but is having the old car fixed up so we can buy it in May for DD1.  It has been so hard to keep this secret from her but I SOO want it to be a surprise.
- Little Sister came over Thursday night to hang out and we made Slutty Brownies.  SO YUMMY!  I love hanging out with little sister.

BAD:
- My car insurance went up $10.00 a month and I am not sure why. Nothing has changed. I am going to have DW call our insurance agent to investigate why.
 - DW's car is making awful noises.  I know we need to have this looked at ASAP, I am just not sure were to get the funds.
- The 2 year anniversary of my mother's death is coming up. It also happens to be the same day as DS2's birthday so I will have a distraction.

UGLY:
-  The State denied our request for a subsidy increase for DS2.  I requested an appeal and they send me a one page questionnaire.  I have turned it into a 4.5 page rebuttal. I was proud of myself, my letter is professional while direct without getting nasty.  You have no idea how bad I wanted to get nasty.
- We were $250.00 over budget for the first pay period.  The overages get absorbed into the second pay period so we are in the black now, but I don't think we have enough funds to last us two weeks.
- My best friend at work got fired on Friday. I will miss her.

FUNNY:
- DS1's birthday lands on Easter this year.  He thought this meant we wouldn't be celebrating his birthday. We haven't really confirmed whether this is true or not... we can be so mean.
- While driving in the car, DS1 told me that one of his older friends is so weird because "He smokes weeds. Why would you want to smoke weeds?"   I have this fear that I will come home one day to DS1 in the backyard trying to light up a dandelion. (Yes, we did have a 'say no to drugs' talk shortly after this)

Check book mess up

I was balancing the books this afternoon for the first time since Friday.  The accounts would not balance.  The bank was saying I had a lot more money then my books did.

At first I though that maybe I had balanced earlier and just didn't remember.  I adjusted so everything worked out and called it good. But it kept nagging at me.  Finally I sat down and ran through the accounts with a fine tooth comb.

Wanna know what happened?

I accidentally used DW's bosses personal debit card instead of our own to buy the boys birthday gifts. OOPS!!! We use DW's work Amazon account to get the free 2 day shipping.  I added our debit card but apparently when it was time to pay it went to the default card.  I thought I had double checked this but apparently did it.  DW is writing her boss a check for the amount with a HUGE apology. I feel so bad. 

From now on, DW is I charge of making those Amazon purchases.

Nothing Special...

Life is pretty boring on the financial front.  

Had on expected expense that was under $8.00 dollars but nothing that will break the bank.

Haven't received payment from my side job yet.  I am giving it until tomorrow before I panic as those funds were allocated towards a large payment coming out the 27th. 

I received all the boy's birthday presents in the mail today.  They are old enough to appreciate quality over quanitity but I am still a little panicked that it only equals out to two gifts each. I spent about the same as past years and they are both getting big gifts so I need to let it go.

I checked the IRS "Where's my refund" website and they have received my return!!! The message states that I should receive me refund with 21 days but I am taking that with a grain of salt.  The Adoption tax credit always slows things down so I am still estimating around end of May.

Hope you are having an amazing week.

Friday is OVER!!

I am so glad Friday is over.

Worked from 6am to 4:30pm trying to make up hours lost due to appointments and I am still down 15 hours for the week due to the lice fiasco on Monday.  Drove to DS2s Grandmother’s to pick him up and then drove two towns away for his therapist appointment.

Picked up DD1 on the way home and had a quick dinner.  Left DW to put the kids to bed and DD1 and I went grocery shopping.  Got home around 10pm and just finished up putting all the groceries away.  I am exhausted, but happy that I stayed within budget at the grocery store.

I was able to get all the bills paid on my lunch and even got DS1 & 2’s birthday presents ordered.  I am nervous about making it to the end of the month with how over budget we were for the first pay period.  I have some extra funds coming in but it annoys me that I might be using that to cover my financial stupidity instead of paying off debt. 

I just have to realize that I have made a lot of positive changes. I have to forgive myself for my mistakes and try to do better next time. 

Saturday is looking like a busy day.  I have to supervise a visit with a birth parent for one of my kiddos and then I am taking DS2’s grandmother (Grandma D) out for coffee.  Grandma D is a huge resource for us and I try to make time to take her out as a thank you.  She is literally the only person who is able to watch DS2 for more than an hour.  She is also a huge support for me as she has DS2’s older sister who has similar mental health issues so she ‘Gets it’.   DW isn’t too thrilled as she will be watching 7 kiddos on her own but at least DD1 will be there to help.

Sunday is less busy.  My dad is coming by to visit and drop off souvenirs for the kiddos from when he was in Hawaii.  He won’t stay long as he lives a quiet life and my house is anything but.  He loves the kids but can only deal the chaos in small doses.   

I will probably use Sunday to get caught up on laundry and to finish my appeal paperwork as the subsidy increase we requested for DS2 was denied.   I also have to do some research on residential treatment centers.  The mental health specialty school pretty much flat out refused to take him unless he had completed a stay at a residential treatment center for some of his extreme behaviors.  There is another school in the area we can try, but I am expecting the same response.  Sadly, this hasn’t been the first time residential treatment has been suggested and I am running out of excuses as to why we shouldn’t explore this avenue.  UGH!

Hope you all have a great weekend!!



Utilities

For the first time in FOREVER all my utility accounts are paid in full.  Next month, I will even pay them on time.  Feeling Giddy!!  :-)

OVERBUDGET, LICE AND IN A FUNK!

As of right now, I am about $250.00 over budget for the first part of the month.  On Friday we get paid and I also have some unexpected income coming in so I am praying we will be able to break even and end March in the black.

Why are we over budget?  Well most of it was stress spending.  I was just overwhelmed with the conversation I had to have with DD2 (plus the follow-up meeting with her social worker), ‘The talk’ with MIL, issues surrounding DS2 and then we had a lice outbreak.

Yes, lice.  It was awful! Both DW and I took the day off on Monday and spent the entire day cleaning heads, blankets, pillows, stuffed animals and everything else we could get our hands on.  The Lice accounted for about $75.00 of our overspending.  

I am just in a funk this month and it is really effecting my spending.  My insomnia is kicking my butt and it leaves me anxious and agitated throughout the day.  And then my mind whispers to me “One Starbucks isn’t going to hurt the budget.” And then “You are really stressed out, you family deserves a nice meal you didn’t budget for.”  

DW is super supportive and keeps asking me what she can do to help me snap out of this, but I don’t even know. She told me I should just spend a few days at my Little Sister’s house to get away from the stress but the guilt of leaving DW and the kids plus the amount of work that wouldn’t get done in my absence would negate any stress relief the break would give me. 

What do you do when you get into a funk?



I Have Readers!!!

I have readers!! I got my first follower (Hi JB!!) and my first commenter (You rock ND Chic).  And if I am reading my views correctly I am have about 3 silent readers as well.  I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!

Seriously, it was getting a little awkward writing to myself. :-)

ANYWHO.....It has been a tough weekend...

On Friday I took DD2 our for hot chocolate (used gift card) and let her know what was going on.  There are so many unknowns on what will happen with her placement but I didn't want her blindsided.  It was tough as we had to talk about her parents incarceration, the existence of family members, and the potential of moving from our home.  She was more interested in her hot chocolate and cookie than the conversation and took the news fairly well.  She has been a little clingy all weekend, but other than that she is her normal cheerful self. 

I had a grocery store FAIL on Saturday.  I am a crazy insane grocery list maker.  This is the excel spread sheet I use to plan my trips:

I write the totals in while I shop and it gives me an idea if we can afford extras such as special treats or stocking up on sales items. When I check out I am usually within 2 dollars of my estimate grocery bill.

So here is how I messed up. At the bottom of this list it auto totals. I first make a list of all meals I am going to make and add all the ingredients to make these meals.  Once that is finished, I add the bare minimums for breakfast, lunch fixings, cleaning supplies, toiletries, and household staples.  Once those are added, if the total is low I add little extras. If I am to high I find cheaper meal solutions or cut down on household snacks.

When I completed my list, the total was just below $100.00 which is what I needed.  Imagine my surprise when my total was $133.32 dollars!!! I took my receipt and spent 20 minutes in the car trying to figure what I over spent on. Then I realized my formula to auto total was messed up.  When I fixed the formula is was at 134.00. So my list still works as long as the operator doesn't mess it up.

More stories to tell, but that will have to wait until tomorrow.  Goodnight my lovely 2-5 readers.

Forecasting Queen

 I love to forecast my budget.  It gives me the opportunity to know exactly how much we can accomplish if we stick to our current budget.  

Today I decided to forecast when we could foreseeably pay off all of our debt. Taking into consideration that we will almost definitely have to purchase a new vehicle in the next 12 months, I am guesstimating that we can be completely debt free by December of 2016.  There a many variables which can change but this is based on the following factors:

-          We receive no pay increases at our main jobs.

-          DW and I discussed me quitting one of my side jobs in October which is an income loss of $590.00 a month. (This extra job is causing a ton of stress)

-          We do not move. (we are debating either moving into my MIL’s house or finding another rental)

-          Our new car costs no more than $15,000.00

-          We have to dip into our emergency fund no more than $1,500.00

Things that may delay or move up this date:

-          Possibility of having to replace two cars in the next 21 months

-          We end up moving (moving costs between $2,000 - $6,000 dollars)

o   If conditions are right it would be better for our family over all to move into my MIL’s house

o   If the housing market gets better, our landlord may choose to sell the house and we will be forced to move (this has happened to us before)

-          Major emergencies occur

-          Family Vacation (we have been pushing back our family vacation for years and I am not sure if I can convince DW to hold back one more year)

-          We get nice raises

-          I continue with side job

-          We win the lottery

Even if several of the negative events occur, I could still see us debt free by December 2017. 

Since I am in a forecasting mood, here are the items I plan on saving for when we are debt free:

-          Save more for retirement.

-          Save to pay cash for next car

-          Save for down payment on house

o   If we move into MIL’s house save for repairs and remodels

-          Save for vacations

o   I am a first generation American on my mother’s side and all of my extended family is in France.  My dream has been to take my kids over to visit them instead of them always having to come visit us.

o   I also would like to be able to take my kids on vacation once a year.  Have them experience all the world has to offer them.

What do you want to save for when you are debt free?



Letting a Child Go and Financial News.

While at it has been hinted at for a few weeks, reality is hitting me that DD2 might be leaving us soon.  It breaks my heart as I have grown very attached to this little girl over the past 5 months.  She has gone thru so much and it has been a honor and joy to see her opening up and becoming a part of our family. 

The earliest she would leave would be March 31^st.  The best case scenario is they will allow her to finish out the school year. In reality I feel like it will be sometime in April.  This will be a HUGE transition for her and, while not part of my job description as a foster parent, I am going to be the one to break the news to her. 

They did not address in any of our trainings how to prepare a 6 year old girl mentally and emotionally for a move to another state with family she has never met and never knew existed.  How am I going to do this!?!?!?

Onto financial news:

 I contacted the IRS this week about our 2013 tax return.  We faxed the paperwork on 01/17/2015 but for some reason it doesn’t show received in their system until 03/02/2015. WTH!!  There is apparently a 12 week turn around on these (from the 3/2 date of course) so we are looking at end of May beginning of June.  I am getting really frustrated. 

For S&G I checked the ‘Where’s my refund’ website.  I wasn’t surprised when they said they didn’t have my refund information yet, but WAS surprised that they changed the wait time. It used to be that you waited 3 weeks for your paper refund to update in the system and then another 3 weeks (barring issues) until you get your refund. Now they are quoting 4 weeks for each.  SERIOUSLY!!! Luckily next year, since I don’t plan to adopt this year, I should be able to E-File. 

The original numbers we got from the daycare provider were different from the written contract she gave us so we will be saving even less than I had expected.  DW and I decided just to pay for daycare on holidays and summer and have her come straight home after Kindergarten.  It makes life more complicated but saves us $355.00 a month that we could really use.

I received approval to start working from home. This could start as early as mid-April.  Very excited as this will help lessen the number of hours I lose each week.  Including the subsidy for internet, I will be bringing home $140.00 or more a month.   

No word on the subsidy increase.  I am expecting to get more information next week. 



Updates

Good news on the subsidy front.  DW was able to connect with the rate assessor and he was surprised the increase was denied.  With the help of DS2’s social worker we were able to provide him more data and he is resubmitted for reprocessing.  We should find out by next week if it was approved.

After a 2.5 hour meeting with the school district yesterday, we all agreed to move DS2 to a school that is part of a mental health hospital.  During his last move I was pretty hands off but still missed a lot of work. This time I want to get it done right, so I will be a lot more involved in the transition process.  Financially this will hurt but it is what is best for DS2.

I have a meeting with my supervisor tomorrow and we will talk about me transitioning to become a telecommuter. This would be so good for us financially.  I miss a lot of work because I have to leave to deal with kid behaviors issues, appointments or visits.  Since I usually have kids with me afterwards I can’t head back to work.  As a telecommuter, I can get stuff set-up to amuse the kids downstairs while I work from the second floor. This should hopefully cut my missed hours in half.

DW had a discussion with our daycare provider about DD3 transitioning to all day kindergarten in September. Our rate will drop by $160.00 a month. I was hoping for more, but I know the provider is giving us a great deal already.  The head daycare assistant did tell DW that she was thinking about starting her own daycare soon and would charge us less.  That would be amazing!!

Roommate is thinking about selling her car and it currently bluebooks around $600.00.  We are thinking about buying it for DD1 as am early birthday/Christmas/family day present.  Since we already have an agreement to match what she saves for a car (up to $1500.00). We would only be coughing up $300.00 more than if DD1 bought it on her own. $300.00 is about what we spend on the holiday. We just need to find the money earlier than we had budgeted.  This REALLY only works if we get our tax return in a timely manner. 

So that is what is new at the House of Sense.



I almost did it but bad luck saved me.

In previous posts I talked about my bad habits with finances.  I would worry about how low funds were and would choose not to pay a bill to make sure we had some cash reserve.  

I almost did that last night.  When going over the budget I had one of those mini anxiety attacks that we wouldn’t have enough money. 

On a whim of very bad judgment, I logged onto my cable account and took off the auto-pay.  In my mind I freed up $133.00 until my next paycheck.  Unfortunately, it seems I setup auto-pay earlier than the due date because within an hour I received an email from Cable Company thanking me for my payment.

I am glad that happened.  I need to break these financial habits NOW!  This particular habit was a huge contributor to my recent debt.  I am still stressed about money, but the worst to happen is we go a few days without cigarettes. We won’t die without cigarettes and we need to start relying on our vapor pens anyway.

On a final note, we were denied the subsidy increase for DS2.  I am pissed but I don’t have the emotional energy or physical time to appeal this. DW stepped up and is going to fight this.

I hating fighting for an increase because I feel judged by those who feel foster parents do it for the money. The increase is essentially to relieve some of the financial burden of raising a high needs child so that we can maintain placement.

I would use the monthly increase to cover the cost of repairing the huge hole he put in the wall on Saturday, to replace the dryer door he ripped off a few weeks ago, to replace the brand new mattress he urinated all over (he took of the protector and pissed on it several times in anger), and to rent a carpet cleaner (ours broke) to carpet clean his room as he started now pissing on the floor in the middle of the night. 

I would use it to replace the drawers in the kitchen he stomped on, repair the dent he put in the wall frame in his old bedroom and maybe even purchase a small piece offering to a neighbor so he will start allowing his kids to play with mine after the cricket bat on the side of the head incident (care of DS2). 

After those repairs, the monthly increase would go to recover some of the average of 25-35% of income I lose each month due to appointments, behaviors and meetings surrounding DS2 special needs.

I know the state budget is tight, I get it.  But his experienced social worker tells me that we put up with more than even a foster home specializing in high needs kids would take. If he fails out of our home he will most likely be institutionalized.  That validates for me that, YES, this is just as hard as it feels.  The stress of raising him is EXTREME and the more it impacts us financially the harder it is to justify to DW and the rest of our family why we should continue having him in our home.  Wish us luck.



Taxes and New Budget

Nothing all too exciting happening at the House of Sense…..Well, actually a lots is happening but not much in the financial sense. 

I shed a tear when I got the mail on Thursday and saw my tax refund paperwork. 

We were short on postage by $0.27 cents because there is additional fee if the thickness of your envelope is over ¼ inch.  So the clock for refund is reset starting 03/06/2015.

If the 7 week turn around on paper returns is true and we don’t get held up due to adoption paperwork, we could expect our return on April 24^th.  

Knowing my luck with the IRS, I am giving it until the end of May before I start calling and complaining. I will be stalking the “Where’s my refund” website on 3/27 though.

DW called the IRS to get an update on our 2013 refund status. The lady on the phone couldn’t even confirm that they got our updated tax information the end of January.  She just told DW to call back in 2 weeks.  DW was in tears because we need those funds so we can get things rolling for MIL.  So frustrating!!

March budget is going smoothly so far.  While I made a lot of changes to our budget this month it is still a trial run. It makes me anxious that I am off. We have no emergency fund/savings to rely on if I was wrong and I want to avoid EVER having to use a pay day loan store again. 

How was your weekend? 



BIG DREAMS

While I think weekly therapy is incredibly important for some of my kiddo’s wellbeing, I am relieved that DS2’s therapy was cancelled today.  My to-do list today is massive, so it is nice I can free up a few hours. 

I have a good talk with DW about how to proceed with my MIL.  DW doesn’t deal with stress or high emotion well, so it was a tough talk but I think we know where to start.  DW expressed a desire to move into the house once we move MIL to an assisted living home.  There are several things we have to work out before we can even determine that would be an option, but it got me thinking.  The mortgage is comparable to what we pay now, so we could easily assume payments but what happens when MIL passes.  I fear we wouldn’t qualify for the amount needed to buy the home for what is owed.   I did some google searching and a federal law passed in 1982 states that when someone inherits a property with an existing mortgage they do not need to refinance.  They just notify the bank that they are living on the property, that they will continue making payments and then have their names placed on the deed.

So the idea is out there. Over the next month, as I weed through MIL’s paperwork, I should find out if this idea is even feasible.  Once we got the house cleaned up, it would be perfect size for our family.  I would be working from home and DW would be commuting opposite of traffic. It is in the best school district in the state and is only a few miles away from the two specialty schools I am looking into for DS2.  I need to stop daydreaming…



Other Expenses

Today is payday!!

Do you know what I love even more than getting paid?  I love entering those numbers into my budget/spending worksheet. I am such a dork. 

This is the official start of our new budget cycle, so I was able to order some much needed items online.  Pre-sense, I never budgets for ‘other’ items.  I just squeezed them in whenever we had an influx of cash.  This meant that sometimes we didn’t have the money on items we needed and went without.  

One of these items was Dinovite for my dogs.  This stuff is like magic and within weeks my dogs’ hotspots would vanish, their hair would start growing back and chronic ear infections disappeared.  I could only afford a 6 week supply at a time, and low and behold 6 weeks later I couldn’t find the $50.00 to order more so my poor dogs would suffer. 

I can’t even begin to explain the relief it is to have been able to purchase the 6 week supply today. And to know that it is budgeted for me to continue ordering this so they never have to go without.  Eventually I will be at a place where I can order a 90 day supply ($130.00), but I am not quite there yet.

I now don’t need to panic when DS1’s school asks for headphones for a school project.  Family birthday parties don’t make my stomach churn when I think of the expense of birthday gifts.  I can even plan a day at the museum with my Dad and a few of my kids without getting heart palpitations.  Who knew planning ahead can be so empowering. 



MIL

My MIL (DW’s mom) isn’t doing very well.  We talked it over with BIL (DW’s older brother) and my MIL and we are going to become MIL’s medical and financial power of attorneys (POA).  DW doesn’t handle stress very well and when I noticed how hard the preliminary conversations were on her; I offered to be added to the POA paperwork to help as much as I can.

The scope of all the work that will need to be done to get MIL’s financial and medical house in order is overwhelming.  DW got her head for finances from her parents so I am scared the mess I will find once I get my hands on all debts, incomes and investments.  We have debts to calculate and settle (I fear we might have to do a bankruptcy), inpatient and outpatient facilities to find, finding her a home near us that fit within her small social security payment, and the house. 

The house is what is concerning me the most right now.  She currently has roommates so we have figure out what they are paying and if they are willing to stay in the home when MIL moves out and until we sell.  The condition of the house is horrible.  We have to completely redo all the carpets and repaint the interior walls. We also have to address the outside of the house which is currently pepto pink, NO JOKE.   The only thing going for us is that this home is in a HIGHLY desirable area of the state so finding a buyer shouldn’t be hard even if we sold it as is.  The problem is that I have no idea what is owed on the house and with MIL’s recent refinance we may have to put money into repairs just to sale it for what she owes. 

I know I am getting myself worked up with little information. I need to take it one step at a time.  We have our attorney going over the POA paperwork, we reached out to a few realtor friends to help with the house,  we found am inpatient medical facility who takes MIL’s insurance so we can start working on the most severe of her medical issues and DW has a phone call into MIL’s Doctor for 33 years to get some information on MIL’s health. 

BREATHE…………



March

We have $25.00 in the bank account and 2 days until payday.  DW is getting anxious but I feel we will do just fine.  I can’t admit to feeling so confident all along.  Yesterday, while pulling into the gas station, I had a small panic attack that the $15.00 I had budgeted for gas wouldn’t last me as long as I needed.  I nearly pulled out my credit card to fill my tank up but sense kicked in and I pulled out my debit card instead.   I think once I have actual money in savings and the e-fund my financial anxiety will calm down.

Here is our March Budget

		BUDGET	ACTUAL			BUDGET	ACTUAL			BUDGET
leftover	5-Mar	$0.00	$0.00	DW	20-Mar	$1,271.08	$0.00		Food	$900.00
Carmel	6-Mar	$693.00	$0.00	Other	23-Mar	$1,513.00	$0.00		Allow	$250.00
DW	5-Mar	$1,271.08	$0.00	Carmel	20-Mar	$825.00	$0.00		Gas	$310.00
Other	6-Mar	$2,054.89	$0.00			$3,609.08	$0.00		Savings	$350.00
		$4,018.97	$0.00						Other	$250.00
									E-Fund	$0.00
					Insur	$131.10			TOTAL	$2,060.00
	Rent	$2,100.00			Daycare	$530.00
	Daycare	$530.00			Dis Loan	$558.20			Total	$2,059.66
	Netflix	$13.13			Vonage	$20.14			Leftover	($0.34)
	FIOS	$133.39			Capital	$75.00
	Loan	$230.00			Car	$285.28
	PSE	$114.86			Cell	$147.76
		$3,121.38	$0.00		PUD	$230.40
					Dis Card	$163.00
	TO PAY	$3,121.38			Water	$203.19
	REMAIN	$897.59			XBOX	$10.94
					Med Bill	$92.00
						$2,447.01	$0.00
					TO PAY	$2,447.01
					REMAIN	$1,162.07

 

Updates about this month’s budget:

-          The Grocery and Other fund have gone up to fit our family’s needs.  The other fund will be a huge resource for those expenses that come up such as school expenses, birthday parties, prescriptions, animal care, etc. 

-          The $230.00 loan payment is to pay off our payday loan we got mid last month. I am hoping to never have to use those again.  I made sure the mileage reimbursement form was moved to income for the second part of the month so we won’t get ourselves in that mess again.

-          The medical bill is the total we owed for DW’s medical emergency last month, sans prescription costs.  I love my health insurance.

I feel confident that we should be able to meet this month’s budget with minimal issues.  I am much more practical about what we spend and how to allocate the funds.  Not shown on this version of the budget is how much we can spend in each category for food/gas/allowance/other.  If I stick within those ranges we should be okay.