Should be sleeping...

I should be sleeping but I am blogging again...it is an addiction. I am either reading blogs, thinking about a blog post I could write or actually blogging.

My weekend was average, had its good points and bad points.  We had my younger five, the girl who spends weekends and holidays with us (blog name NG) and while DD1 wasn't at the house we felt per presence (aka drama) via text and phone calls.

Spending wise I did awful. My grocery bill was 205 dollars which makes me crazy over budget. The good news is I was realistic with what we needed for the week and that is right on par with what I budgeted weekly starting in March. We also ate out to the tune of $40.00. There we some other expenses which I haven't tallied up but it doesn't look good for the second part of February. 

I received some news today about the a close family friend. I have known him since I was 9 years old. I baby sat his kids and his oldest is actually marrying a friend I went to highschool with and was my first roommate.  He was just diagnosed with cancer and is really depressed. Lil Sister and I talked and we plan to get together and write him a light hearted letter about our fun times together and hopefully cheer him up.

You are probably wondering why I am posting this info on a debt blog. I want to send him something with the letter, like an edible arrangement, and to send something (inspirational book) to the eldest daughter who I am very close to. On the outside it would seem like an excessive expense and before 2 years ago I would have agreed with you. But two years ago my mother died

My mom didn't want to let anyone know how sick she was and isolated herself from friends, so much so that most didn't know she was ill until they had found out she had passed. My mother was so depressed and lonely and I know that if someone had taken the time and small expense to do something special for her it would have made such a difference.  

I want to send a gift to the oldest daughter because this news has brought up a lot of my own grief. You can't really understand the grief of losing a family member until it happens to you. Friends send me their condolences via social media and text and a few came to the services but the two acts of kindness that really stuck with me were those that were unexpected and above and beyond. The first was a high school classmate who I hadn't seen in 12 years who came to the service. He never even meet my mother but came to pay his respects.  The 2nd was my therapist, she bought me a orchid.  They were such small things and they touched my heart with warmth when it was being suffocated by grief. I promised myself that going forward o would do that for others, I would be the one to go that extra bit. So far I have failed miserably but I have my chance, and it is worth the extra time and expense.